Guys, here’s an easy tool to give men a really cool way to connect across seasons and generations in your church and community. 

Get some guys together and play ‘Holla Back’. It could be a few or a whole room full. Here’s how it works… 

Pick out a guy and give him a ‘Holla Back’ challenge. Then let him talk.

(Pro Tip… Many guys have no sense of time when they’re talking. Some guys talk for 30 seconds and think it’s 10 minutes. Others talk for 10 minutes and think it’s 2. So, set a time limit and manage time. Don’t let anyone give an answer that’s too simple or too involved. A 2–3-minute limit would work great here.)

  • If you could Holla Back to yourself at 16, what would you say to yourself? 
  • If you could Holla Back to yourself in your first job, what advice would you give? 
  • If you could Holla Back to yourself in the first year of marriage? What would you say? 
  • If you could Holla Back to yourself when you were first tempted to drink alcohol, what would you say? 
  • If you could Holla Back to yourself last year, what would you say? 
  • If you could Holla Back to yourself before you got out of bed this morning, what would you say?

Involve the younger guys too… 

  • If you could Holla Back to yourself in middle school, what would you say? 
  • If you could Holla Back to yourself before you encountered pornography, what would you say? 
  • If you could Holla Back and give yourself some advice about high school, what would it be? 

This takes no preparation other than having a few question ideas. Make guys dig a bit deeper by responding to their answer with “Why?”.  You could have every guy answer the same question or give a new one to each guy. The big idea here is to get guys to open their mouths and be honest, tell some stories, laugh, remember, lament, learn, connect. If you manage it well, this could be a game changer for some connections among your men! 

I would be careful to not let it be too ‘churchy’. Yes, you need to get to the spiritual dimension but don’t start there. You could easily transition by talking about wisdom. 

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight. Proverbs 9:10

Process together…

  • Who helped you understand this truth of this verse? 
  • Who has lived this out in your life? 
  • How do you avail yourself of God’s wisdom? 
  • How are you sharing the wisdom you’ve learned from Him with others? 

Every guy needs some wise guys in their lives. But most guys don’t see themselves as being wise. This helps men understand God has not wasted a single experience in their lives. He can and will use it for their good and His Glory… If they’ll let him.

Check out what some guys would “holla back” to themselves in our 1 Quick Question, “Guys, if you could holla back to your 20-something self, what’s one piece of advice you would give yourself?”