fatherhood is a big deal!
Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers, Proverbs 17:6
Currently, I have two grandsons. Being Pops to them is a stellar assignment. The oldest, especially, thinks I’m amazing. He asked me one day while we are working on something…
“Pops, do you know everything?”
It was a moment of raw wonder on his part, and mine. That little guy gives me a lot of credit that I don’t deserve. I had to think quickly about how to respond. After a brief pause, I gave him an answer that made him smile and brought us both great joy (even though I may have stretched the truth a little) I simply said…
“Well, pretty much.”
Yep, being a grandfather is wonderful. But when folks ask me about my favorite aspect of the assignment, I don’t hesitate. Hands down, my favorite part of being a grandfather is watching my son be a dad.
That’s it. I love those little guys. But I’m not with them all the time. They look up to me, but their Dad is the one whom they really love and trust. My wife Stacy and I often talked about the challenges of parenting and that we don’t really know how things have gone until our kids have kids on their own.
Personally, I continue to learn much about being a biological son and a spiritual son as I continue in my fathering journey, The big “AHA” lessons come when I think about how Father God views me as a son. I’m certain there are moments of both disappointment and delight as He fathers me. I’m grateful that His love is unconditional and that I can’t do anything to make him love me less, or more. This keeps me in a humble posture and challenges me to try to love my children…and others unconditionally.
The journey and joy of fathering never ends. With that in mind, I’d like to share some resources and information that I have recently encountered. Check out some of these links to be reminded of your value as a dad, and how you might encourage other dads along the way.
Two major studies on fatherhood released just before father’s day
State of Biblical Fatherhood a report by Manhood Journey (Dr. Ken Canfield, Kent Evans, and Josh Jubler). Bottom line…being an engaged father is not the same as being a biblically faithful father. Read the report to learn how you can grow in each of seven characteristics of biblically faithful father…
- Trusts God
- Knows Scripture
- Prays Fervently
- Builds Relationships
- Serves Others
- Stewards Resources
- Makes Disciples
Here are a few recommendations from the report for churches regarding fathering. Churches should “shepherd their fathers toward faithfulness. In providing tools, training, and resources aimed at fathers, churches will equip fathers to be missionaries in their homes, preparing them to shepherd their families toward faithfulness as well.” P. 33.
Good Fathers, Flourishing Kids: The Importance of Fatherhood in Virginia, produced by The National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia and National Center for Black Family Life at Hampton University.
There’s good news and bad news. One of my favorite sections identified at least three ways that dads typically make a distinctive difference in their kids’ lives.
- Play – “The distinctive approach to play (with fathers) extends throughout childhood and appears to help children learn how to control their bodies and emotions in ways that build confidence and social acumen.”
- Risk-Taking – “Whether it’s taking their children on an overnight camping trip, teaching them how to defy a schoolyard bully, or encouraging them to embrace a tough training regimen for a high school sport, dads are more likely than mothers to push their sons and daughters.”
- Discipline – “Dads tend to be firmer in enforcing family rules, and more likely to command the attention and compliance of their children, partly because of the distinctive size, strength, and tone of voice that fathers bring to disciplinary situations.”
Here are a few child outcomes from increased paternal involvement
- Father engagement means better student performance.
- Father engagement is linked to less child depression.
I was encouraged by the recommendations made for “A Father-Friendly Policy Agenda”
- Making Schools Boy-Friendly
- Creating a Positive Culture of Fatherhood.
- Limiting Access to Pornography.
- Reviving Civic Efforts to Promote Prosocial Masculinity
- Helping All Dads Flourish
- Helping Formerly Incarcerated Fathers Stand Tall
Dads, your impact on your children is immeasurably important. Keep leaning into the Lord and the Word for encouragement in the journey.
Pastors, continue to encourage the men in your church to make strategic, intentional investments in future generations by fathering well. Engage, equip, and encourage your men to walk faithfully with Father God so they can father well.
Follow me as I follow the example of Christ. 1 Corinthians 11:1
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