Controlling Your Temper
by Evans Hodges
Every man has an angry dog inside of him. The question isn’t whether he exists—the question is whether we can control him. Controlling your temper is important for every man. Whether it be your wife, your kids, or co-workers–everyone is always watching. They should benefit from and be able to see a man that bears spiritual fruit, which includes self-control. Throughout Proverbs and the Psalms, Solomon and the psalmist offer men great wisdom to help keep the angry dog on his leash.
Today, we’ll walk through some of these wise words and how you can apply them to help you tame your anger:
- Slow Down (Proverbs 14:29)
“He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly.”
– Proverbs 14:29
When you slow down, you have time to take a step back and process what is happening. Your emotions can take a backseat, so you can tame your tongue and avoid rash decisions. Next time you are about to speak something out of anger, take a deep breath, step away, and remind yourself that a godly man doesn’t have to react to everything. The last thing you want to be known as is an aggravated and agitated man.
- Let God Check Your Temperature (Proverbs 4:23; Psalm 139:23-24)
“Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.” – Proverbs 4:23
“Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” – Psalm 139:23-24
In Psalm 139, David prays a powerful prayer, asking God to search him and to see if there is any offensive thing in him. Most of the time, the thing that causes our fuse to blow isn’t actually what is triggering us. Instead, it’s something that’s been bubbling up in our heart for a while. Go to the Lord and have Him check your spiritual temperature. Ask God, “Is there any pride, bitterness, or unforgiveness that I need to deal with?”
- Reasonably Respond (Proverbs 15:1)
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1
Not everything needs to be immediately reacted to or rebutted. A wise man answers reasonably to each situation, and he does not answer the same to every situation. A harsh answer might feel good in the moment, but it could just add fuel to the fire. If we look at Jesus, we see one of His characteristics was meekness. To be meek is never to be weak. Rather, it is strength under control, or strong self-control. A meek man doesn’t let his temper rule his life. Learn how to reasonably respond with the right tone and words.
- Let Go and Let God (Proverbs 19:11)
“A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression.”
– Proverbs 19:11
Not every offense needs to start a battle. Solomon tells us that it is a glory to overlook a transgression; in other words, it is a wise man who knows what isn’t worth fighting about. This doesn’t dismiss confronting serious sin or avoiding conversations that need to happen. More so, we shouldn’t make everything about us and turn small matters into a petty war. Often, the most powerful thing a man can do is let go of the offense, and ‘let go, and let God.’ If you want to be a man who walks with a calm demeanor, you cannot let another person’s actions dictate how you live and respond.
Don’t let your family and those around you be scorched by the fiery flames of your anger. Start with yourself and model to your wife and kids what a self-controlled temper looks like. Don’t let the angry dog off of his leash.
As the great ESPN personality Stuart Scott said, be “as cool as the other side of the pillow.”
