The Age of Manhood
I recently received an interesting and thought-provoking question from a young student pastor in the state that is the subject of this month’s blog post. Here was his question:
Mike,
What are your thoughts on the idea of when manhood begins in western culture? With no common “governmental” or “religious” rites of passage, (except getting a driver’s license, turning 18, or graduating high school,) I am finding it hard to define. The reason I ask is because I am pondering the question of women teaching in youth ministry as it pertains to 1 Timothy 2:9-15.
Great question, right?
As you well know, this subject is quite controversial. As a matter of fact, I recently purchased a book titled, “Women in the Church: An Interpretation and Application of 1 Timothy 2:9-15” It’s nearly 400 pages and is the 3rd edition of the book. Much research, time, and ink was certainly invested into interpretation of this passage, but I didn’t read anything that would be helpful in responding this pastor’s particular question. So, here are a few of my own anecdotal thoughts:
MEN HAVE SURRENDERED RESPONSIBILITY FOR EDUCATION TO WOMEN
I don’t want to take anything away from the gifted and godly women who serve in all areas of education. I can tell you stories of ladies who blessed me at several levels in church and school. (I went to public school.) I am also grateful for the well-prepared and caring women who have taught our four children at various levels in church and school. (All four of our kids went to public school and public universities.) BUT… I can tell you that male teachers left a huge impression on me, and had outsized impact in my life and the lives of our kids, especially our three sons. Personally, I value the investment and impact of godly male teachers.
ADOLESCENCE IS A NEW CULTURAL VERNACULAR
As you likely know, adolescence is a fairly recent developmental category in cultural vernacular. In the not-too-distant past, males moved from boyhood to manhood without this squishy intermediate timeframe that has no clear boundaries or expectations. And the timeline for “adolescence” seems to keep expanding as males put off the weighty responsibilities of manhood longer and longer, so they can live as boys in a world that is desperate for men. The book Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men, describes older males who refuse to grow up as “boys who shave.”
IT TAKES A MAN TO CALL BOYS INTO MANHOOD
Numerous authors and commentators have suggested that “it takes a man to call boys into manhood.” With this in mind, I believe part of what’s missing in education in general and Christian education in particular are godly men. Many men may not feel great comfort or confidence in the work of teaching, but they should deeply value the opportunity and obligation they have to serve as spiritual fathers for young men. (Not just fatherless young men but young men in general.) Even guys with great, godly dads benefit from having other spiritual fathers in their lives. For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel. (1 Corinthians 4:15)
In keeping all these things in mind, I arrived at this conclusion: We need, and should recruit godly men to teach boys at all levels.
- I believe it’s particularly significant to have men involved, even preschool classes. Again, I don’t want to take anything away from the many godly women who serve in pre-school and children’s ministry, but I do believe there is great value for all involved, to have men serving in those classes. (It is also important to note here, that there should be standards and procedures in place for background checks, multiple teachers, etc. in every environment where children are cared for, but even more so in the local )
- Men should likewise be involved at the elementary school level. As boys move toward 4th and 5th grades especially, theybenefit from gender-segregated instruction by a team of men. (I personally used to teach the 4th and 5th grade boys at our church on Wednesday nights, and enjoyed a wonderful camaraderie with the young guys. It was great fun!)
- By the time boys get to middle school, they really need to see and hear from godly men each week. They need to be challenged, called out, encouraged, and cheered for by men whom they respect and want to emulate. I’mreminded of Payne Carr and Jack Brown, who taught middle school boys at our church when I was young. I’m sorry for what they had to put up with. But the fact that I still remember their names is meaningful. What young men will remember your name one day?
- In high school, I would sayit’s an absolute necessity that young men be taught by godly men who are able to help them candidly address the various challenges of their journey. We must be soberly engaged in speaking with young men about the many pits and traps that Satan is using to capture young men today. We must get over whatever inhibitions we have about addressing these issues and face them head-on in the church. It’s unlikely that many women are going to address the issues of pornography and masturbation with teenage guys with any degree of success. Again, I’m grateful for a godly woman who we affectionally called Aunt Esther, that led the youth group at our church for several years. But I’m also profoundly grateful for Sandy Gregory, Malcolm Bunch, and other men who invested in my life through our church.
I love questions from young pastors that get me thinking. Reviewing my own adolescence and journey toward manhood reminded me of the many people (men and women) that God purposefully and lovingly put in my life to disciple and grow my faith. I am grateful for them all, and for their roles in helping me to answer this question even today! God can use faithful women to teach and build into the spiritual development of boys, but I believe there should be an increasing presence of, and emphasis on men teaching boys that reaches a final point of full engagement at the age of 13-14 with the 9th - 12th grade guys.
I am praying for you teachers. Teaching is a grace from Lord—but it isn’t always easy! Thank you for the parts you play in guiding boys to be men of God!